A sample of Beyond Worthy
beyond worthy
jacqueline whitney
Thought Catalog Books — thoughtcatalog.com — New York • Los Angeles
Copyright © 2019 Jacqueline Whitney. All rights reserved.
Published by Thought Catalog Books, an imprint of the digital magazine Thought Catalog, which is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company LLC, an independent media organization based in Brooklyn, New York and Los Angeles, California.
This book was produced by Chris Lavergne and Noelle Beams. Art Direction by KJ Parish. Special thanks to Bianca Sparacino for creative editorial direction and Isidoros Karamitopoulos for circulation management.
Visit us on the web at thoughtcatalog.com and shopcatalog.com.
Made in the United States of America.
ISBN 978-1-949759-17-4
Pages 3–4
I’ve been tiptoeing around my soul, terrified that everything will break if I make this transparent move of opening up; I have inched forward but haven’t taken the full step. This journey of mine has been about learning to walk again; I’m learning to stand strong within my soul, facing past experiences I’ve felt inadequate to open up about until now. It hurts like hell healing and reliving the moments that led me to believe I wasn’t beyond worthy of this life anymore.
I must relive moments I don’t want to relive if I am going to find healing. I know the strength to acknowledge pain always existed within me. I know the words to explain my pain and the eternal lessons I’ve learned are aching to be released. Both the strength and words have been on the surface of my skin, not deep within, impossible to find. "I just need more time," said my inner dialog, or maybe I don’t. It was just fear suffocating me with the parts of my past I don’t want to see again. I must face them if I want to move on.
I want to move on. I want to know what it’s like to walk without feeling heavy. This book is me learning to walk again. Just learning to walk is a really big step. Even as I am writing, I can feel myself beginning to place my heels on the ground instead of tiptoeing, and it’s more comfortable here. My toes are relaxing, walking around my soul with more ease at the reality of my memories.
I know there is power in saying, this is my truth and this is how I am overcoming. I know I wasn’t placed on this Earth to hold my truth inside. It’s just a matter of finding those last few morsels of courage to say to my soul, "These are the reasons I stopped believing I wasn’t beyond worthy of this life."
Page 5
Words will forever be my stronghold, my hope, my survival.
Page 6
I write to feel, and I feel to understand.
I do not understand my world or the world I exist in without words.
Page 7
I write to exist free
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