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I Only Have Marmalade

by M.G. Hughes

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About the book

Echoing themes of healing, identity, race, feminism, and the environment I Only Have Marmalade is a poetry collection that seeks to answer the question: “What’s going on?” By reflecting on what it means to grow up both Black and the daughter of an immigrant, exploring complicated memories of her mental health journey, and assembling bittersweet paintings of the social and environmental climate she exists within, M. G. Hughes’ words offer a balm to anyone who has ever felt completely lost, unsure, or unwanted.

If you had the
choice, would you pick
today up from the ground? 

If the hour was an apricot rotting from
the inside out, the flesh browning through and through, would you leave it to rot?

Or would you make marmalade?

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Meet The Author

M.G. Hughes

M. G. Hughes is a Black and Filipino poet and novelist from San Diego, California.

Read a sample of I Only Have Marmalade

A sample of I Only Have Marmalade

I Only Have Marmalade

M. G. Hughes

Thought Catalog Books — thoughtcatalog.com — New York • Los Angeles

Copyright © 2021 M. G. Hughes. All rights reserved.

Published by Thought Catalog Books, an imprint of the digital magazine Thought Catalog, which is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company LLC, an independent media organization based in Brooklyn, New York and Los Angeles, California.

This book was produced by Chris Lavergne and Noelle Beams with art direction and design by KJ Parish.

Cover illustrated by Maggie Stephenson (www.maggiestephenson.com). Special thanks to Brianna Wiest for creative editorial direction and Isidoros Karamitopoulos for circulation management.

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Made in the United States of America.

ISBN 978-1-949759-36-5

If you had the choice, would you pick
today up from the ground?

If the hour was an apricot rotting from the
inside out, the flesh browning through and
through, would you leave it to rot?

Or would you make marmalade?

Table of contents

  1. Laughing in Marigold — 7
  2. Verbena — 139
  3. Speaking Violet in the Rain — 197
  4. The Blue Midnight Sun — 231

Silent night,
Loud day—

You test
Me so.

And still I walk with
Medallion in my footprints.

I — Laughing in Marigold

The chapter title is surrounded by a black frame decorated with white flowers and leaves.

Errands

Skip
Hop
Blue tank top
Was going down
To the Wig Shop
With Granny
Skip
Hop
Across the sidewalk
Was running errands
Under a wilting sun ray
Skip
Hop
Throw a penny in the fountain
Throw a penny and watch it grow
Skip
Hop
Think of a wish quick little Brown girl
Think of a wish quick little Brown girl

Make a wish for yourself grown Brown girl

On Being a Happy Woman

Little girl
Looks to
Cracked up sky
Looks to
Ancestors
Looks to
God
Looks to
Ancestors again
Looks to
Passing storm cloud
Looks to
Reflection in the water
Looks to
Cracked up sky
Looks to
That little girl once more

The Woman With Clear Colored Ink

I could make
Entire mountains cry violet
All the canyons lose their guts
All the valleys and rivers speak
Their native leaf language just for us

But that would be too easy

On some days i just cry
over the way a lyric wrapped
its silk self around my shoulders

On some days

i just

let myself cry

Suds

I bathed in nectarine
After taking the trash out
The feeling made me sleepy
And I almost drowned myself
On accident for having tilted my head
I slipped further and further into the tub
And after thinking on it I’ve realized there was
A metaphor waiting for me in the suds all along

But that’s for me to keep and for you to figure out

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