“Touch me & die” is neither easy to say to someone nor easy on the ears. Stitch it onto this cute beanie, however, and things get a lot easier. Because now, with the onus off you and sewed onto this cotton and acrylic blend hat, any guilt or reservations you may have had about hurling this hostile phrase at someone quickly disappears. Made by MadeMe, this beanie is the ultimate life hack and an extremely efficient way to get people off your back—to, for instance, scare the hisses and whistles right out of a group of construction workers. In fact, when affixed to this playful, Crayola-colored striped background, the phrase appears even more sinister—and consequently more persuasive—than if it were coming out of your mouth.