What is a boyfriend good for? Heavy lifting, reaching high things, showing off your new lip wax. Oh and for leaning on, of course. For emotional support, yes, but mostly for physical support. Perhaps you’re so inflexibly single that you can no longer recall how you managed to fit someone else into your bed. In fact, the only thing you can recall is that you did fit someone else in your bed at one point and, in doing so, used his or her body to sort of prop up your leg and alleviate any lower back pain. If you’re being honest with yourself, it’s really that that you miss—and nothing else. Enter the Total Body Support Pillow, which will give you that distinct physical lower back relief and leg support without the snoring, comforter hogging, or any other unwelcome by-products of romantic relationships. And, compared to your last fling, this pillow—at 10 ½ pounds—will not weigh you down. Nor will it cause you to instantly break out into hives or a bad rash like your last boyfriend’s hygiene; this pillow is stuffed with hypoallergenic Fusion Fiberfill—a material that happens to get fluffier and softer with every wash. So keep the milk and cookies all to yourself, sleep with the TV on, and hog your covers like there’s no tomorrow—because you just found an unresponsive, inanimate, and infinitely loyal partner you’ll have for life.