Mouth-Watering Cookies That Basically Taste Like A Jewish Deli


The sun is low now, the rescue plane is circling above your amnestic head, the glassy empty green water, the exotic and mysterious jungle which shelters and conceals your only friend on this island, the soothing jingle of chains just out of sight. You raise your arms reaching for the iron angel, yelling for salvation, but the chains’ sound is stronger and sweeter. Finally you are pulled passed the threshold of the forest toward the song of the chains and the plane deploys a survival kit onto the beach in your wake.

The air is different in the wood, cleaner and cooler. A butterfly lands on your nose and you scream, “Oh hell no, bitch!” as you swat at it. The chains psalm lures you deeper and you inhale the sweet air around you. “Smells like a Jewish Deli,” you think. Your mouth waters when you see visions of…

Rainbow cookies! Just like the ones at Canter’s in Los Angeles.

You know now that you’re in the right place. The receding sound of the circling rescue plane calms you. The chains are louder and clearer now. Within reach. You’re drooling now, not just from the thought of the cookies. And as you pull back a thick green curtain of palms, a white light fills the clearing. Your eyes adjust and focus on the big gold chains you obsessed over, sacrificed for, and obeyed. They’re suspended in midair with all your favorite things hanging from them like a giant glowing floating charm bracelet. You gorge on the bounty, stuffing the rainbow cookies into your mouth, putting on the Wet’n Wild’s Vamp it Up, and trimming your nose hairs with the Philip’s personal trimmer like a Tasmanian devil. You’re filled with joy, the joy you remember from what must have been your life before all this. A cold pressure around your wrists now. Your hands grasping your favorite things are chained. Confused, you pull your wrists apart, but the chains get tighter and when you relax they get looser. Instead of fear, you feel sedated and continue to eat and shave and model your 69 hat. This is who you are and have always been. And as the moon rises over the ocean reflecting metallic light you sing to yourself and your voice echoes.

When I’m feeling sad. I simply remember my favorite things and then I don’t feel… so bad.