Betcha On Land They’d Understand: A Mermaid Tail For The Girl Who Has Everything

Britney did it, and now you can too. And no, I’m not talking about playing a pivotal role in the most important film of the last two decades. I’m talking about donning this audacious mermaid tail. Otherworldly and figure-hugging like you wouldn’t believe, it’s the perfect piece to casually toss on any time you’re craving attention, but can’t be bothered to move. Because as you’ll no doubt discover once you pull on this spandex and polyester mermaid guise, moving in it is not so much unnecessary as it is physically impossible. I recommend finding a nice beach or a central, clean patch of floor at your favorite bar, and then getting into standard mermaid position. So long as you remain very still, things should go swimmingly. Isn’t that neat?